Things I hear and see as a new parent, which annoy me. (many of these come from complete strangers)
1. Let’s hold hands little one.
My response: Hey stranger, while I appreciate your enthusiasm and the positive energy you’re showing towards my baby. Please don’t rub or touch his hands. He sticks his hands in his mouth all the time and I don’t know where your hands have been! In fact, I don’t even know you. There’s this little thing called personal space. Do you think you can respect it? I would be weirded out if someone I didn’t know came up to me and held my hand, wouldn’t you? Let’s slow things down a bit, how about a simple “hi” or a smile, heck even a little baby babble would be preferred.
2. Are you going to breastfeed that child until he’s 20?? In my day, we smoked, drank wine and our kids turned out just fine. We also breastfed for a couple of months. Longer than that is just unneccessary.
My response: When are my boobs and what come out of them any of your business? My child is 4 months old, I nourish him and give him antibodies to keep him strong and healthy– end of story! On the bright side, if my boobs are the major concern in your life now, I’d say you’re doing pretty well for yourself. (I’m just a glass is always half full kind-a-girl, I guess)
3. Wow, he’s so cute and handsome (this isn’t a pet peeve). Caramel skin and blue eyes, oh my gosh. How did that happen? They’ll probably change to brown, right? What’s he mixed with? His hair is straight, you both have curly hair. His hair will probably be curly or kinky, I’m sure.
My response: He’s mixed with his Mom and Dad. His eyes are his as is his hair. They can do whatever they please and I wouldn’t care, I’m head over the heel in love with my child regardless of those things. Let’s stop obsessing over what features a baby should and shouldn’t have and just enjoy them for the plump, adorable little creatures they are.
4. (When my son cries) Did you burb him? He’s probably hungry, feed him!
My response: Side eye and keep on moving.
5. My all time favorite: so when are you going to have a second one?
My response: Oh I’m sorry, you didn’t read the newsletter? Guess you’ll have to go back and refer to that one to find out. I mean really, raising a life is one of the most challenging and humbling things I’ve ever done. I’m enjoying not carrying around a belly the size of a basketball at the moment. Let me enjoy my baby as is without the pressure and stress of thinking about that.