My Breasts Are Under Siege

So, the title to this entry has nothing to do with hair and yes it’s a little extreme. However, it’s what I’ve felt lately. Now, don’t get me wrong and don’t take this the wrong way. I LOVE my little squishy peanut to pieces and love being a mommy. I love that I provide nutrients to the little life my husband and I brought into the world. It’s a beautiful and intimate moment that I share with my baby boy and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Now that I’m done stepping on eggshells, here’s my top 10 dislikes (yep, I said dislike) about breastfeeding. Please note, I will continue breastfeeding my son and am thankful that I’m able to do so, but humor helps us get through life, so here goes:

1. Running errands without ticking  leaking, engorged time bombs.

2. Wearing nursing bras and breast shields.

3. Pumping milk – it makes me feel and look like a cow. Moooo!

4. When my son discovers my boobs with his sharp, dagger-like infant claws, gets a hold and doesn’t let go.

5. People talking about my breasts and my milk, when did this become a dinner conversation topic to be had with my father-in-law?!

6. An improper latch, ouch!

7. Larger breasts, I enjoy the ease of small perky boobs – how do I miss thee.

8. Wardrobe is pretty much dictated by the fact that I breast feed, button down shirts, deep v-necks and tube-tops are my breast friends (get it, hehe).

9. Sore nipples, enough said!

10. Doesn’t happen all the time, but occassionally…lopsided boobs!

If you have children, what would you add to this list? If you don’t have children, I hope I haven’t scared you from the idea!


4 thoughts on “My Breasts Are Under Siege

  1. Ha. I hear you. Agreed to all–and I know what you mean about #5. Of course, having to breastfeed in front of people if you want to have any kind of life doesn’t help in the privacy department. This has taken a lot of getting used to for me.

    • I know tell me about it. Right after birth, people kept asking me frantically “did your milk come in”, then once it came in “do you have enough”, then “maybe you’re feeding him too much” — literally in that order. Lol

      • I had to have a sit-down with my husband about how I wanted to have some privacy around my breasts and milk, particularly around my in-laws.

        I also have never been as skeeved out as when an older dude casually pawed through my pumped milk at airport security. It was all I could do not to grab it out of his hands and yell “that’s mine!”

      • My cousin travels a lot for work. She once had to travel with her pump for a conference, while she was away from her baby. The TSA personnel looked at her milk and asked what it was? When she explained he looked suspicious and asked why she had milk without a baby! Hehe

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